please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
