even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
