brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
