i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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