i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
