somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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