oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
