She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
