I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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