yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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