2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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