Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
