Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
