Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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