I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize