Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
