I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
