What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We are two peas in an std pod
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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