Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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