Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
