i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
