Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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