Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
