Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
