I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
