You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
