I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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