she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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