so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
