What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
