I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
