Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
