I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
