AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
