Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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