me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have surprise drugs for everyone
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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