She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
