im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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