YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
