I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
