Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
