i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
