I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
