he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
