After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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