I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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