atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize