dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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