Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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