tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Go christen that room with your naked body.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
