I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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