Your dad touched me again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
did you just send me my own nude
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize