If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
