Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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