did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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