Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
