i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Randomize
