I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
