I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
