Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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