I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
