kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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