Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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