i may or may not be watching the land before time
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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